"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. " -Lao Tzu
This last week was a bit of a crazy sad one for me. Iv'e never gone through so much emotion in such a short period of time. I am pretty sure a lot of it was the left over residual stress from the 48 Hour Film Fest, but also some personal events that I don't feel like I need to post on Facebook.
I failed to send an updated copy of my film in before the big screening on Weds night at LA LIVE... AAAAAHHHH....so there are going to be some SCARY bumps in that road. We got 2 of the hardest categories and yet we still turned in a completed piece. It was inspiring, so much that I want to do another short very soon.....I have a few written, going to see how I can make that happen while trying to find some paying work in LA.
Something that I was really proud of myself for while working on the 48 hour festival was letting go and letting be. Those of you who know me know that I am very competitive when it comes to...well anything really, it's hard to bring new information to me sometimes because I can get a little emotional, and I am a Gemini with Gemini rising so I think I can do it all. I specifically chose the people around me for the 48 hour film Festival for different reasons. But just like with acting I try to approach circumstances in my life with an objective. Sometimes I focus on Grace for a class, sometimes on a attentiveness to what people are really saying, sometimes on changing my tempo, and others trying to think outside of my typical box of tricks. When I went to draw our categories on Friday, I knew the only thing I had control over was drawing the genres.... And I barely have control over that. I decided right there that for the rest of the weekend I would not fight against the current on circumstances that were out of my control. AKA anything other than my thoughts. I Think it was one of the most important things I learned,
I am currently working on a project that I can't talk too much about and that I am now surprised at where I stand in regards to certain issues. I used to be certain about things....but that is silly. To be certain, is to be stuck. I have no idea if I'm right about half the stuff in life, but I'm happy in an unknowing state.
I don't know where I'm going to end up, or who I'm going to be, even in the next two months that can change. And I'm a fan change. I'm looking forward to see what else universe has in store for me.
Also, pray for my mom. She is one of the strongest people I know and she just got out of surgery for her shoulder. I know she'll be fine but positive vibrations are always welcome.
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." -Steve Jobs